- Yesterday I went to get fingerprinted at the jail. I was so teary on my way there (oh, this is Lauren writing in case you were wondering ;-)). Every little thing we do, whether it's getting a physical to confirm we're healthy enough to parent, writing essays to show we will be a loving mom and dad or spending our Tuesday morning at the county jail surrounded by terrifying drunk driving posters- brings us one small step closer to holding our baby in our arms.
- The woman doing my fingerprinting shared that she and her husband started the adoption process but were discouraged by 2 separate agencies from continuing. They were told her husband was "too old" and they would not be chosen by a birthmother.
My heart absolutely broke at the absurdity and injustice of the whole situation. She was only 34 and she said her husband was about 10 years older. It was 4 years ago that they were told he was "too old." She seemed to have a really positive outlook on the situation and I admired her strength; still, I couldn't help but feel deeply saddened by it all (not pity- more like righteous anger that this world can be so backwards). It was certainly a momentous reminder (not that I needed one) that adoption is a tremendous gift and not some consolation prize. We are so blessed to be able to pursue this road.
- This brings me to my next thought. We will not have the thrill of hearing this baby's heartbeat on a sonogram. We will not get to share with our families the joy of that first ultrasound photo. There is a lot we will miss to be sure. It is so essential that we celebrate these small, seemingly insignificant milestones. As we savor each tiny step in this process, we can strengthen our ability to be grateful for each and every moment, to look with anticipation and hope toward the future and to love our child and their birth parents even before we meet them.
It is so cheesy I know, but how I cannot think of that Savage Garden song 'I Knew I Loved You Before I Met You?' Judge me all you want :-) but these lyrics nail it (and obviously they apply to all parents before they 'meet' their baby). I want to share how real this is even though our baby's not growing in my womb.
"I Knew I Loved You"
Maybe it's intuition
But some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
and there it goes
I know that it might sound more than
a little crazy but I believe
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
There's just no rhyme or reason
only this sense of completion
and in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for
I think I found my way home
I know that it might sound more than
a little crazy but I believe
A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I found you
- Finally, because we both needed to write at length about how we will discipline our kids, we've been watching a DVD series called 'Conscious Discipline.' We use it at my work and it is amazing! It is all about the importance of adults learning self-discipline and self-regulation before they try to discipline children. This is definitely another wonderful thing about adoption. We're forced to examine our pasts, our values and our priorities whether we want to or not. Yay for self-awareness!
No comments:
Post a Comment